Just Breathe

So, here I sit in my bed looking out to the Atlantic Ocean. The waves seem a little rough this morning. The blue is deep and dark through the palm froms. Why is the ocean so dark this morning? The palms are swaying in the breeze and adding just the right background music. Sleeping in a loft here is like sleeping in a tree house. Best views, great breezes.


Sam's up early again off for a swim and run on the beach. KD's sleeping away. I can hear that. I also can hear mice or bats who live in the ceiling of my loft. After one night of poor sleep, my Ipod's drown out the rodent squeaking, the "bum che" of the late night car bases and the early morning rooster call. I'm really loving Canoa Quebrada.

We arrived late Friday night to Forteleza where we were met by a taxi driver who drove us to Canoa Quebrada. His sign said Kathy, Dolce Vita. We are definitely living the sweet life here. Our pousada is awesome. It kinda reminds me of Melrose Place's organization around the pool. Cute small villas surrounding the pool alongside lounge chairs and tables. There are some awesome lounge seating which we haven't gotten to enjoy yet. Hopefully today or tomorrow.

The town was originally found by some Italian hippies. In the past few years they've changed the streets into cobblestones and updated things. It's got sand creeping in from all sides. Besides restaurants and touristy souvenir shops there's not much else. There's one main drag called Broadway that has lots of pizzerias, chopperias and other restaurants mixed in with the shops. Won't be doing much shopping here. Not a bad thing but it's so cheap. Water costs $3 for a 1.5 liter bottle. Last night we had an amazing churrasco dinner for only R$25 each. That's like about $14 for beer and a Brazilian bbq in a great setting tucked back off the street. I was worried that it would fill with Forteleza's folks and be similar to Sao Jorge last year. So not true. It's busy but not so much that you feel stifled or like you're crowd dodging.

This vacay is truly what the dr ordered for me. Friday was probably the worst day of school I've had so far and I'm anticipating, actually I know, next week's gonna be bad as well. Not the place to gripe about it but with already having one of the most challenging starts to a school year I've ever had, vacation was not a want. It had become a need. Why is my 12th year in education going this way? Why am I on the verge of tears and into comatic states daily? And people wondered why I needed to get out of BSB for 4 days. Whatever!

Canoa's just what I needed. Each day I'm here my level of stress and frustration decreases. This morning I'm trying to use the ocean as a symbol of releasing my stress. It's taking away everything. I need this so I can have a clear mind. With wave that comes in, it sweeps some of the stressors away. Out of my life. I just listed and have now deleted some of the stressors because 1. not appropriate and 2. writing them made of think of more. Yuck. Okay ocean. Seems like you and I are gonna have to work on this one for a while. Problem 1. Yeah that one. Sweep it away. Take it to some other continent. Far, far away from me. What you all can't see is that as I sit typing in my bed I'm pausing regularly to breath and close my eyes. Be aware of what I'm doing. Be conscious since lately I haven't been able to do that. (So far I've spent an hour writing this post because I'm just trying to quiet and slow down my mind).

Our time here's been quiet. Time at the beach. Time at the pool. Time in the pool. Time exploring town. Nothing spectacular. Just goodness. Yesterday I did grad school reading and work poolside. Man, I need to find a place in BSB like this. Visually amazing and calming. I know I can't have the ocean but I'd settle for the pool and loungy seating.

Today we'll eat breakfast. Swim and lounge around the pool and elsewhere. Then our plan is to go on a dune buggy (dune boogy if you are from the NE) ride later this afternoon. It's hottest here in the morning. Then we'll come back to Dolce Vita. Maybe a little more pool time or siesta and clean up for dinner.

Sigh. This is what I needed. Breathe. Visualize. Be calm and feel the calm wash away it all away. Yoga's been teaching me about this and having a little practice, even just the breathing on my own helps. Namaste.